Nunchi is the art of creating round pleasant atmosphere in which everyone benefits:

• subtle art of gauging other people’s thoughts and feelings to build harmony, trust and connection
• art of reading a room and understanding what others are thinking and feeling
• context – body language, facial expressions, tradition, who else is in room, even silence 
• think of room as living breathing organism with its own temperature, barometric pressure, volume, mood.  
• room’s atmosphere or wellness level. Your job is to work out what your role is
• eye assessment, observation 
• two eyes and two ears and one mouth, look and listen (twice as much listening as talking)
• more focused on others than ourselves in order to read nonverbal cues
• stillness and discernment
• uncanny ability to predict human behavior
• create atmosphere of roundness
• empty mind, center, breathe
• paying attention to those around you
• pay attention to what is not said
• take focus off self to see what situation demands and let behavior be led by person whose good opinion you need
• mirroring
• Socratic Method
• think of everyone but yourself
• Korean culture values seeing oneself as part of larger organism
• work meeting – bring snacks to pass around literally creating roundness, ignites flow and connection, creates awareness of hive mind

1.  what is emotional energy
2. what emotional energy can i emit to flow with that

Smartphone is enemy of nunchi.

Bias of western culture 

• Empathy valued over understanding 
• Noise over stillness and quiet
• Extroversion over introversion 
• Jagged edge over roundness (pushy behavior of sharp elbowed people)
• Individualism over collectivism 
• Western myth of self reliance
• Western advice – firm handshake, look in eye, strong confident voice

Nunchi Rules

1.  empty your mind. 
2. Nunchi observer effect – enter room mindfully and deliberately, think outside self. Nunchi room entry ritual, quietly assess existing climate
3. If you just arrived in a room everyone else was there longer
4. Never pass up an opportunity to shut up – if you wait long enough most questions will be answered for you.  You learn more from listening than from speaking. Being silent puts you at an advantage 
5. Manners serve useful purpose

Random Stuff

Kibun mood as full body experience 

Nunchi faux pas

Nincompoopery

Malignant narcissist gets disproportionately annoyed when no one laughs at their jokes

Light a candle to fill room with love and laughter, glow draws everyone together unified and warm 

You don’t need to be the best to win. All you need is your eyes and ears.

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